Sunday, November 27, 2011

Favourite memories


This is my favourite memory of all time. It seems tarnished now, but in time I will polish it back up and remember it fondly. Her on the other hand…

I am not sure I will ever forgive her. Though I feel she made a bad decision based on faulty information. I think she listened to a snake and I hope she doesn’t get hurt.

At least we were truly in love once.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I am trying to be optimistic. Realistic too.

I know that I need a ton of work, so I am going to make an entry very soon saying exactly what I want to say but cannot because I have no choice but to wait and pray. Since those are my only options, I am trying to find God and a job so I can make time move and get my prayers answered.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Regret.

I have no life left in my soul because I have loved and lost. I gave her it all and now I have nothing left but the effort I didn't give.

All my life I believed that to love someone was admirable and noble, something to be proud of and be rewarded for with the same. Now I know to love someone without doubt is to be tortured beyond any means. To love someone is to vulnerable forever.

I still think the sun shines out of her ass. I still know that I am better than what I was. I still think we can reconcile. However, the realist in me says optimism is great but you have to change your sails and go where the wind is blowing. The pessimist says there is a tornado.

Overall, I just want to sail back to that harbor where I fell in love, then sail back out bravely with you by my side. I was always going to make the shore, but sharing the journey was going to be the best part. There is nothing unnatural and nothing to be ashamed, about having regret. I don't regret loving you.